EVIDENCE:

1. I enjoy soaking in containers of liquid…pools, baths, brines(?)

2. I often find myself infiltrating veggie trays at holiday parties

3. I’ve got some bumps n’ lumps (from years of volleyball and general clumsiness)

4. (Weak) people think I have a hard time opening up

5. I have evolved into my most supreme form

COUNTER ARGUMENTS:

1. My birth certificate says I am a human woman (but can we really trust the government?)